listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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