when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
