I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
