We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
