He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i think i just lost a toe
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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