we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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