You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
