11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Randomize
