he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
