ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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