Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
