my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
