Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
