come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
