Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
