I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Success! We fucked roommates!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
