And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
