your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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