I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
