she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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