it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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