there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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