I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
