I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
