I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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