I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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