he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
