I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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