If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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