I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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