No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
