my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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