i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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