We're like a lot better than the average bears
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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