It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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