so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
