and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
