are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
