my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
All I want is dick and wine.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
