So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
