I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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