Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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