I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
