That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
third nipple confirmed
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
