He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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