i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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