Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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