Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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