I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
