thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
