we have officially lost it.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I have post one night stand depression
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