yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
