my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
