i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
