this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
