if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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