There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
