I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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